"Coming out" to someone, is an important step for people and is different for every person, however it is also something that you should only do when you feel comfortable and you have support. Be prepared for a range of reactions and be patient as people work through their own feelings.

Share your Coming Out Stories

This is a place to tell your own story and read the stories of others like you. If you would like to send us your story or your views on what coming out means to you, please email us support@maltagayrights.org.

See also the support page.

Bisexual Woman

Oh God, where do I start? Sexually, my family is very repressed. I remember my "Talk" consisted of, "Stuff will happen to your body. Its normal, but don't let anyone know about it. And DON'T let boys touch you." They didn't say anything about girls .... My best friend and I just sort of did what felt right at the time. It was wonderful, and I don't regret a second of it, but I do wish that I had known at the time that what we were doing was sexual, that we were something more than just friends. I realise it in retrospect, of course, but I wish I had known it then. After a few years, I found another wonderful woman. Again, at the time, I thought we were just friends. I knew I loved her, fiercely, protectively, gently and deeply, and I was confused at the depth of my feelings for her. I was beginning to have inklings that what we were doing was something more than just normal best friend stuff, but I was pretty deep in denial. I just couldn't admit it to myself. I didn't know what I was, with my deep relationships with women, and my fitful attractions to men. Now, years later, after I have found that man I am going to marry, I have finally realized that I am a bisexual. My fiance has been wonderfully supportive and understanding through all of my remembering and discovering of my bisexuality. Now, finally, I am able to cherish my earlier lovers as who and what they were and are to me. For that, if nothing else, I am glad that I know of my bisexuality.

Catholic & Gay

Well ever since I was younger I felt I was different, as I was very introverted and never took an interest in the same things most of the same topics my hetero friends took an interest in, such as football, cars and more. As I reached my puberty years I started to realise but I did not want to acknowledge it. This latter fact depressed me a lot as I felt I could never find a girlfriend at the time. This made me feel that I was the odd one out. Gradually I started to discover my personality and started expressing myself more in all aspects of my life. My orientation was yet a small but influential fraction of my character. Doubt was always there and always will be there, until decisions are taken by the individual. Eventually circumstance came my way and I met up with a guy who I liked but we both were not sure of our orientation. This helped both of us start to question our expectations, such as a hetero lifestyle. It took me years to finally aknowledge that I was gay but once I did so then I had a greater hurdle to over come, which was accepting it. My coming out was very different to other gay guys, as I never got intimate or even kissed a girl; and compared to most of my gay friends, everyone around me accepted my orientation apart from myself. Self acceptance is hard and takes time. Experience is the only way one can gradually get there, unfortunately a lot of hardships also develop. Being a practicing Catholic, much of my choices were based on my faiths values but unfortunately many faithful gradually build a sense of guild on anyone who does anything different. This did not help me cause I became more self critical and made me fear coming out to my dad, who is a strong devotional Catholic. Many factors effect ones coming out, with them main factor being others peoples judgement, such as work colleagues, friends, relatives. I believe my coming out was gradual and I am still coming out to many people, even after 4 years of being a practicing gay guy. Gay life is not easy and it is a constant challenge which I do not wish upon anyone but that is how some of us are and we just need to live it.

Rapid Self-Realisation

L-ispazju ta' zmien li fih irrealizzajt l-orjentazzjoni tieghi kien qasir hafna (mid-dubju sa l-accettazzoni tal-fatt kien gimghatejn). Kont meghjuna mil-fatt li persuna close hafna tieghi outjat; meta hu skopra l-attrazzjoni ghall-irgiel, u bdejna niltaqaw ma' nies gay, qisha nfethitli dinja gdida. Qatt ma kont gejt close ma' nies gay qabel. Billi kien habib li kont inhobb; ghamilt minn kollox biex naccettah u nhobbu, u rrealizzajt li t-terminu gay mhu xejn. Wara kollox l-bniedem l-istess baqa', x'jaghmel fis-sodda ma jeffettwanix. Bis-sahha tieghu bdejt nsir naf aktar nies gay/bi/trans, u nkun f'postijiet tal-gays. Bdejt niehu gost inkun ma' nies gays u nhossni komda hafna madwarhom. Bdejt nistaqsi go fija il-ghala minn dan, imma ma tajtx kaz. Sakemm darba hassejt attrazzjoni ghal mara. Ghalija dan il-hsieb kien stramb, imma shabi l- straight ippushjawni biex nipprova. Dahalli id-dubju li kont forsi bi. Il-habib tieghi ghamilli date, u wara din id-date nassigurakom li ndunajt li jien 100 percent lizbjana (b'bewsa biss ta!). Tinduna mid-differenza! Hadt ir-ruh. Ndunajt x'kelli nieqes f'hajti. Hassejtni 'relieved' ghax go fija gie trigerjat xi haga; qisni qabel kont nara it-television black and white, u issa ghandi big screen tal-kulur. Mbad qadt naqra id-diary, u bdejt nirrealizza kemm f'hajti qadt ma ridt naf b'guvintur, kemm dejjem kelli hafna affarijiet li kienu juruni (bhal holm stramb li jinvolvu l-'girls' t'erbatx/hmistax-il sena u li kont nippreferi nilghab mas-subien ta' eta' zghira milli affarijiet 'softie' mal-bniet); imma tant jien kont spacejata u aljenata mad-dinja hetero li qas biss tajt kaz. Il-kuntentizza li mliet il-vojt f'qalbi kienet inimaginabbli. Anka bhala persuna immaturajt u sirt aktar il-vera jien. Ovjament jien kelli dan l-izvolgiment pozittiv ghax kelli hafna support mill-hbieb tieghi. Kont iffurtunata, ghax kelli x'jilqali it-tempesta (ghax bhal dejjem xorta kelli ix-xkiel fil-hajja). Dan il-fatt ghamilni persuna 'strong'; naf li shabi jhobbuni ghax jien bniedma bhalhom, mhinhiex aljena. Naf li anka Alla jhobbni hafna, avolja hawn xi persuni li jippruvaw jiggudikaw u jistahbew wara l-fatt li "suppost skond Alla". Lil dawn in-nies najdilhom: "Darling God is love, and if you dare to state otherwise, then you don't know who God is! He would never ask me not to love and be loved in return!!" The unexamined life is not worth living; examine your self before it is too late and accept it. YOU OWE IT TO YOURSELF TO BE HAPPY!

L-Istorja Dejjem Titbiddel

L-istorja dejjem titbiddel, mela minn straight biddilt fhemti ghax kont indunajt li jien bi, ladarba bdejt inhossni attirat lejn iz-zewg sessi u bdejt nesperimanta. Pero issa biex nghid id-dritt indunajt li jien gay (nispera li ma nbiddilx fhemti darbohra fil-futur). Meta indunajt li jien differenti kont ghadni is-sekondarja; ma stajt nitkellem ma hadd, u ukoll fuq affarijiet li ghandhom x'jaqsmu ma sess qatt ma tkellimna d-dar, allura meta indunajt kont iffrustrat, tipo ma kien hemm hadd li seta jifhimni li kieku jien ftaht qalbi maghhom. Insomma indunajt li jien bi ta' 16, imma meta ghalaqt l-20 nahseb indunajt li jien gay, ax bdejt inhossni iktar sodisfatt meta nkun ma ragel milli ma mara. Sirt naf mhux ghax bqajt nesperimenta, imma ghax kien hemm hafna nies li ghenuni; ukoll bdejt iktar nithabbeb ma bnedmin bhali, sirt napprezzahom iktar, u ukoll l-media ghenitni hafna. Nahseb li jien minn dejjem qisni kont naf, imma qatt ma tajt kaz, nahseb jien ftit persuni bdew juruni partijiet zghar ta' x'toffri l-hajja, u jien imbad bdejt naqqad l-bicciet flimkien sakemm ma ndunajt. B'xorti indunajt li jien gay hafna tard, nahseb li li kieku indunajt hafna qabel ma ndunajt li jien bi, kont inwegga' inqas nies li ppruvaw ihobbuni. - Anton